The Secrets of Victoria Secret

I decided to join an online dating site a while back because I was having no luck in finding someone that I liked in the usual bars and nightclubs that I frequented. The first step of course was to create an online profile for the women to know about me. I was a successful businessman who had leveraged a small inheritance into a respectable fortune in real estate. I had never been married, and I was looking to settle down with someone special.

After a few weeks of chatting with a lot of elegant seeming women, I eventually found someone that I seemed compatible with.  At first we just emailed each other, but that quickly lead to online chat sessions. Eventually we decided to have our first in-person date.  We met at a not quite intimate restaurant. My first suggestions of more intimate venues were not to her liking. I finally realized that she was just being cautious. After this insight, I suggested a more family style restaurant in a large mall. She accepted immediately.  Lesson learned!

I wanted to look presentable, so I got a haircut, and picked up a new blazer type jacket to go with my slacks. I hate the whole I could care less about you idea that some guys portray. I abhor the entire look of not shaving and looking scruffy that many men sport today. I think it is insulting to women. Mainly because it looks like she is not important enough for you to put yourself out for.  I like to dress up for a date because it communicates to the woman that I care about her. It is a tacit compliment to them that if you fix yourself up, you must think highly of them. Before I ventured out the door for my date, I was looking as respectable as my budget allowed. I had showered, shaved and was dressed in my new slacks and blazer.

As usual, I was early for our reservations to make sure that there was no issues and waited for her to arrive. When she showed up, only slightly late, I was a bit amazed. She was pretty in her pictures, but in person she was even prettier, which is a trick that few women can pull off. But it was not her face that was so special. There is just something that some women have when they move that makes you want to praise God and sing halleluiah to his greatest accomplishment, the female body. Well, let me tell you, she had it in spades. She had a terrific body shape, but that was not what it was that was the attraction. It was her elegance when she moved that held they eye. It was an angelic flow of movement that you just could not get enough of. Every mans eyes in the place watched her as she moved across the room. Her figure was amazing, and her clothes had been selected to showcase that figure to it's fullest. I was tongue tied.

Normally I am not a guy who is enamored with large breasts, or a curvy body of any type. I am really much more attracted to a slim compact body. The same goes for butts, legs and everything else. There are always specific cases that belie my normal bias of course.Delta Burke was a woman who had a presence that could make me look past my 'heavy' bias to see the incredible beauty of the woman underneath.

Even though I am attracted to slim, I detest the anemia that tends to 'grace' the catwalks of the fashion industry today. Most of these women are just freaks. To me, a woman who has a trim body because she exercises is twice as sexy as a woman with large breasts that jiggle all over the place. My date on the other hand seemed to have the best of both body types and the disadvantages of neither. No wonder mens heads turned! I kept being attracted to her tight and toned body as she moved with the grace of a feline across the room.  Nice rounded breasts, a slim torso, and  a nice rounded rear end. Her rear was sort of like what a dancer would have. Muscular and tight. Truly a nice package to look at.

We ate dinner and really enjoyed each others company. Since it was a first date, I had not planned a lot of extra anything beyond the meal. We just lingered over the remains of our dinner and chatted. Eventually I took her home, and we kissed goodnight.  As far as first dates go I would have scored it a nine out of ten. We planned to meet again the following weekend.

The ensuing weekend saw things go even better. On that Saturday we had brunch. Later we took in an afternoon cinema before going out for dinner. Later that night we went dancing. As we danced, I noticed that she felt a lot different than any other woman that I had danced with. I just put it down to the material in the clothes that she was wearing in conjunction with that tight body. The following weekend, we went out again. During the day we just walked through a park, and afterwards we did dinner and dancing. I could not believe how good things were going.

That night, we kissed, and that led to other things. While we were desperately ripping off each others clothes, I ran into some significant surprises. She was wearing a Victoria Secret triple push up bra with (I guess you would call it) mammary foam (rather than memory foam) that exaggerated her bra size significantly.  But I was okay with that, because I am not a fan of large boobs anyway. But on top of that, the reason she was trim and tight was because she was wearing this thing called a body shaper. (I thought that girdles went out in the sixties with women's liberation – at least that is what my mother told me). When she took it off she actually had no muscle tone and some slight flab underneath. And as a final kicker, she was wearing a false butt! Holey moley, a body phony! She was a fake person! I felt betrayed!

Well that took the wind out of my sales and the stiffness out of everything else. I asked her how could we expect to have a future together when everything about her was a lie. I told her that if she had showed me how she really was, I would have fallen for her anyway. I said that preferred her the way she actually was, but she had crossed a trust line with me that I could not get over. We parted ways that night, which is a shame really. She was so perfect for me otherwise.

I just do not understand the way that some people go through life pretending to be something that they are not. But in hindsight, maybe it was actually a good thing that had happened. At least that avoided the embarrassment of me telling her that I was a car park attendant.

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Dating Advice

Anatomy of a First Date

First dates are your best opportunity to dazzle someone. But it is also the most likely point where you will turn them off forever. So much is on the line that there would likely be a solid business model out there for someone to coach you for a first date. Just like in the movie "Hitch". It is important that you are genuine with them as to who you are. Do not put on a big act about being prince charming if you would never normally think of opening a door for someone. On the other hand, do not go out of your way to be a slob either, even if that is how you tend to be in private. With this in mind, here are a few tips that I have compiled, based on my dating record that might help you.

1. Reset Your Libido

This concept was first introduced to the mass public in the movie "There's Something About Mary" – starring Ben Stiller , Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon Just before, or during your pre-date shower, give yourself a hand job. With a flaccid member, you are more likely to be your usual intelligent self, rather than constantly trying to shift the conversation over to discussions of getting her in bed. Going in fully cocked, you will focus too much on her physical attributes and that is a turn off for 90% of women. You’ll try to listen to her, but all you’ll be able to think about is where you’d like to stick your tongue. Discharging the rounds from the chamber will also give you more control if indeed sex is the climax – pun intended – of the evening. If you last long enough for her to orgasm one or two times, she will likely be receptive to a return engagement.


2. Get Her Name Right

I called a girl by the wrong name on a first date once, she walked out on me. To make sure you don’t make this blunder, write her name on your cell phone and check it throughout the night to remind yourself.


3. Swallow Before Speaking

Taking small bites allows you to be able to participate in your side of a conversation more quickly. Also, have the courteously to try to pace our your side of the conversation so you end just at the point she is swallowing. It allows for a good pace, and no awkward silences. I was on a first date once, and started to talk with my mouth still half full. We both watched as a piece of my dinner flew out of my mouth and landed on her plate. Awkward. Needless to say it was our last date!


4. If You Bring Her To Your Place, Hide The Porn

She does not want to know that you are into granny porn! At least not yet. Make a habit of tidying up your apartment before every date, just in case. And that means hiding the porn as well. Do not forget to empty your DVD player. Firing it up to watch Must Love Dogs only to have your DVD player auto-load– Debbie Does Dead Dogs – would really suck.


5. Minimize Your Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol can be a great social lubricant. However, it can also make you look like a total jackass. Whatever you think you can normally drink and still be respectable, cut that total in half. Start your dinner by ordering a large bottle of water with your initial drink order. Towards the end of the meal, switch off to coffee or some form of tea, rather than order an expensive desert wine. Making mistakes and drinking too much is a common mistake. One I have made myself. But the results speak for themselves. Only one time did my drinking excessively not get in the way of subsequent dates, and that was when my date turned out to be a complete lush. It was fun at first, but I broke it off after a few months.


6. Don’t Talk About Your Ex

On on evening when I got too drunk and messy, I also made another first date mistake. I talked too much about my ex. Talking about your failed relationships is just stupid. If pressed, do not lay blame. Say that the relationship was not working out because, as the relationship progressed, you both had discovered that you both had significantly different incompatible interests. Learn to talk about women's shoes. It is a topic that allows for some humor. You must keep her entertained, otherwise, your chances for a second date will disappear.


With any luck, you can pick up on a few of the insights that I have gained over the years to make you a master of first dates.


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Dating Advice for Men

Plenty Of Freaky Chicks

I had emailed a girl on POF but did not get a reply. That happens a lot and I sort of flushed it from my memory.  I got a reply back from this particular individual several weeks later, complete with phone number. I was a bit surprised however when her email included her phone number. I mean, I had never even communicated with her before. Likely I should have run like a chicken, but since I had not been with anyone steady in a long time, I decided to take a chance and texted her.

This started an avalanche of text messages back and forth for the next few days. We finally decided it was time to meet. Since my car was broken down, she drove over 60 miles in an old heap she borrowed from a friend just to see me. I was quite flattered by that.We lingered over coffee for quite a while, and that extended into supper as well. I was a bit surprised when she suggested that I come to her house for the night, but I accepted willingly. As we drove to her house, we snuggled and then started to stroke each other. I had to back off because she started to really get into it at one point and almost went off the road. We got back to her place and started listening to some music while snuggling on the couch.

All of a sudden she she got a few text messages which she answered. On top of this, her phone started to ring non-stop, and she seemed compelled to answer it rather than just turn it off for a while. Needless to say, I was not impressed with this side of her. Not only that, but when she was not talking on her cell phone or texting someone, she was telling me about her ex-boyfriend. Like I was really interested in him. So I made polite noises at the right times while I sat there totally bored by this new twist. I must have done all the right things because we ended up snuggling some more and then headed for bed. The sex was quick and wild, but did not last too long because she said she was tired as soon as she came a couple of times. I barely managed to go off. As we were going to sleep she got up and went into her roommate's bedroom to spend the rest of the night. After waiting about 20 minutes for her to come back, I got the idea that she was out for the count and just went to sleep.

I woke up alone and wondering what I was going to do. I decided to get the hell out of dodge as fast as I could. When I opened the bedroom door, her girlfriend was standing there looking at me as if I was some undesirable bug. Something about the roommate just seemed off. It was one of those instant insights that you get about people sometimes. I cannot put a finger on it. I could only describe it as “off”. Just to be perverse, I decided to have a shower before I left. The water in this backward hell hole probably was not fit to let an animal drink let alone a human because it smelled like boiled eggs. By this time I was really pissed off.

I got dressed and went back to the room I had slept in and waited for her to  explain what the heck was going on. Most importantly, I needed to find out when I could escape from this crazy place. When she finally showed up, she told me that she was in crap up to her eyeballs because she had taken the car yesterday without permission. Apparently her friend's mother was very peeved that she had taken the car the previous day, and that we had to leave now.

When I looked in her eyes, I new that she was on something. Her friend was as well from the look of her. A weird looking guy came over to take us to her (my date's) mother's house. The house turned out to be quite isolated. The living room was full of creepy looking people. Most of them were pretty drugged out. There was a strange odor in the air which I assumed came from a batch of something cooking out back someplace. They were just hanging around in a stupor listening to loud blaring music. It was wild. It was sort of like one of those bad nightmare scenarios that you see in some B grade Hollywood movies. I started to get a bit scared.

A couple of them actually got into an animated discussion as to which train I had to take to get home. My date and her mother left me standing there for a few minutes, and when they returned, we left. We dropped my date and her mother off someplace else, and then we were on our way again.
This guy really freaked me out. He was all in black, had his hair spiked and some of his teeth filed. If his objective was to look like a werewolf, then he was successful. Just needed a bit more hair. Maybe a beard would have helped. He kept grinning at me once in a while and I was starting to get concerned. His constant grinning was getting to me. The longer I was with him the more I was certain that I would crap my pants. I just clamped my butt cheeks together as hard as I could and hoped I would not be in the car too much longer. I was worried he was going to drive me all the way home, but to my relief he drove me just as far as the train station and told me to get out. I happily obliged.

As it turned out, with all the delays at the house, we missed the train I was supposed to catch. I had to wait three more hours for the next one. On top of that, I did not have enough money to get all the way back. So I just sat back and stewed. I ended up detaining about an hour from home. With no money, I had no alternative but to walk and thumb the rest of the way home. It had turned into a damp cold, drizzly day, and by the time I got home I was pretty demoralized. The first thing I did was to take a hot shower to wash the stink off and warm up.

Plenty Of Fish! Plenty of freaks is more like it as far as I am concerned. I have used a couple of other dating sites since, but they are all paying sites now. I have learned that some times free is not always the best way to go. And some sites are not always safe because any moron, freak and weirdo can also join, just because it is free.
Not all free dating sites are crappy. I concede that my experience with POF might have been outside the norm. Either way, I decided to cancel my account on POF and go elsewhere.

In my search for something other than POF I came upon a link that took me to some great dating sites, you might want to give it a try if your fed up with sites like the one I was using. There are risks when joining any free site so be aware, be safe and have fun. The link below is one that I have used successfully. I trust it will be a valuable resource for you as well.

Dating Sites

Sex Appeal for Dummies

What is sex appeal exactly? Most dictionaries describe it as”the ability to excite people sexually”, but dictionaries also describe sexy as being”attractive in a sexual way.” Isn't that the same thing you ask—no, there is differences here so lets explore this further.

Assume a man sees  a cute girl someplace wearing a mini skirt, and low cut top to showcase her breasts.  He will likely think that she is sexy, but is that initial reaction driven by sexy, or sex appeal? While sexy and sex appeal blend together it is quite common to see someone as described above. So what do you have to do for more focused attention?

Men tend to focus on what is currently in front of their eyes, and there is lots of sexy eye candy to attract their short term attention. Sexy is a requirement for and immediate grab at attention,but unlike sex appeal they will likely forget what a merely sexy woman looks like within a few minutes. Sexy is just a quick attention getter, and will generally never amount to more than that.  Someone who dresses for  impact can be sexy, but it will seldom lead to a more serious consideration, and that is the difference here. Sexy is the whipped cream without the pie.

Sex appeal is much more than that, it is more about having self confidence, and a confident sense of self. When anybody exhibits all these signals they exude an aura that demands recognition by others. This aura projects onto surrounding people and makes them feel good as well. Anybody with sex appeal will look great in rags. She knows that it's the woman that makes the clothes not the other way around. Her sense of style and self worth shines though the apparel. Women with sex appeal are always humorous, intelligent and in touch with their sexuality and sensuality. We've all been around an up-beat individual  who seems to smile all the time, and laughs a lot, even when things may be concerning for them. This vivacity is one of the keystones of sex appeal.

Sex appeal holds its head high, it stands tall,and makes its presence known. Females with sex appeal appreciate you in spite of your faults, they  do not let one bad experience affect their relationships with others. They leave any emotional baggage behind. Sex appeal is a glass half full attitude, giving, and complimentary of other people. This all stems from being the loving human beings that they are.

Hopefully you can now see the differences. It all boils down to this simple observation-- if you have learned to love yourself, and others,  it will  emanate into sex appeal as, sex appeal is really all about stature, personal development and image of yourself. Men will look at sexy—no doubt, but it takes the whole person to get past his eyes, into his head, and ultimately into his heart.

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The Sleepover Kit

Once you start to date a woman on a regular basis, there comes a time when you are pretty much expected to sleep over. You should never have to depend on your lady to have a kit ready for you. I mean, what kind of person would always conveniently have a bunch of stuff kicking around for a stray man to use at her house? Sorta scary in a way! On that note, you should always go on a date fully prepared for a sleep over if the opportunity presents itself. All the goodies that I list hear can easily fit into a backpack or small tennis bag. This can be easily stored in the trunk of your car, and hopefully find a permanent home in her closet or under her bed at some later date. So see my example list below, tailor it to suit your needs, and make one up today, especially if you have a hot date tonight!


Something For Your Feet


Your girl may be a wonderful person to be with, but that does not necessarily mean that she is the worlds best housekeeper. On top of that, the floors in her apartment may be freezing in the winter. Pick up some cheapo slippers so you have something to slip on if you have to hit the john in the middle of the night. Nothing is worse than going back to bed with cold feet.


Protection


These are the most essential part of the kit. But get something more than just the lubed and non-lubed varieties. Get yourself some of the new fangled rubbers they’ve got out now. Have some laughs with it and mutually decide which ones you both like best. Unlike American Idol, even the losers in this tryout might have a lot of entertainment value!


Tracksuit


On the same note as the slippers, you want to bring a gym suit in your sleepover kit. Likely she has no control of the temperature and most skinflint landlords turn it a lot lower at night to save money. She might only have one little blanket. Long story short, it’s better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. Otherwise, you’ll have to borrow one of her shawls.


Toothbrush


Having fresh breath and a clean smile just makes sense. Nothing is less sexy than having a big piece of spinach stuck on your teeth. And since using someone else's toothbrush is just gross, take your own. Do not forget to buy a travel size tube of your favorite toothpaste as well. Might as well have at least some of the comforts of home.


Candles


Candlelight sets the mood. Also, hides your zits. Cheap and effective ambiance.


Brigitte Jone's Diary


This movie is one of the greats for getting a woman into a romantic move. So the idea here is to make sure that you have it handy for the next time that you are sitting around bored, there is nothing on TV, and the video stores are closed. Plus, it bears multiple viewings and is still good.



All-Purpose Romantic Card With Gift Card Inside


This is my innovation, and it’s a beauty. Pick up a romantic looking card that does not have any writing on it, but has a nice picture on front. Inside, you tape in a card to her favorite lingerie store You draw a big heart and write “All my love on this special day”. Make sure that the sentiment does not refer to any specific event. Then one foggy Christmas eve – well you will not likely forget Christmas, but you will likely forget the anniversary of the first day you met or something important like that. You are sure to be in the doghouse, then you remember the emergency card in your bag. You run to get it and give it to her. The crowd cheers! Tell your buddies.


Ear Plugs


No matter how pretty she is, there is a good chance that some day she will snore and keep you awake. Once again the sleepover kit comes to the rescue! Just make sure that you never use them while she is talking to you.


Sleep Mask


If you have worked late and need to get some shuteye in the morning, it is almost impossible if her room gets the first light from the sun. Use the sleep mask. Of course if her bedroom does not face east, you can always do some interesting role playing with the mask.


Something To Wear The Next Day


An emergency change of clothes is essential as well. I mean, after all, if you do not have spare clothes and something happens, you will have to dress in drag.


Sade Disk


Often musical tastes can differ, and this is OK most of the time. However, when it comes time to put on something to enjoy during sex, if she’s only got a bunch of Backstreet Boys albums, it can be hard to focus. No matter who you are, Sade can set the right mood.


Book


It is always a good idea to have a book in case she has to go do something and leaves you alone in her room. It helps pass the time so you are not tempted to snoop around her digs. At the same time, when she sees you reading, it will make you look more suave and intelligent. Stay away from nudie books. Most women hate that. If you can stomach it, try bringing and reading the latest Nicholas Sparks book.



So, there you go. A great idea, easy to make, and invaluable.




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Movies As A First Date

First Dates are always problematic. After all, your choice here is giving your new special someone some significant clues as to who and what you really are. Will you look cheap? Will you look like you are trying to impress her by spending too much money? The choice of date and venue really does say a lot about you, and you can bet your bottom dollar that the girl you are taking out is analyzing every bit of it like a dog chewing at a bone!.

The worst thing about a movie date can also be it's best thing. It is hard to talk during a movie. In fact it is frowned upon. So that is bad. On the other hand, it gives you both a chance to get used to being around each other without a lot of pressure on anyone's part to keep the conversation flowing. So that is good. Plus, when the movie is over, it’ll give you a chance to talk about the film, if nothing else is coming to mind. One strange phenomena about first date movies is that bad movies are actually better conversation simulators than good ones. A bad movie can provide the grist for several animated discussions on the movie night itself, and on other days.

Once you are at the movie, your next problem is what to buy for treats. A movie stalwart is popcorn, but is that the best choice? It has the advantage of being inexpensive, but the disadvantage is the propensity for it to stick in your teeth. Also, if your date wears dentures, then popcorn is a no-no. Consider chocolate candy like M&M's. Most women and most men like chocolate. For drinks, try to stay away from anything that is gassy or fizzy like soda pop because they will make you belch and that is not going to leave a favorable lasting impression. Most theaters will offer various types of non-carbonated beverages. One favorite is iced tea. No matter what your final decision is, remember that if you intend to also go out after the movie, then you might want to limit your eating while at the theater.

Good Movies

There are obviously movies that will put her in a romantic mood, and maximize your chances at first base. The first thing you should do is to ask her what she likes, and go from there. Scary movies are good, but not gory movies. You want her jumping and grabbing you, not vomiting into the licorice bag.

Three examples of good first date movies would have been:

1. Comedy –Any Bill Murray comedy – get her laughing! If she’s having a good time and smiling, you’ll have a good chance at holding hands.

2. Drama – Casablanca – pretty unbeatable. Unfortunately date movies this good are rare.

3. Romance – Princess bride – The perfect first date movie. Got me my first boob squeeze in the back of a theatre to this film.


That being said, here are some examples of first date movies that would classify as a bad idea:

Bad Movies

Stay away from movies involving tragedy!  These would be examples of BAD choices:

1. Holocaust Movies – The Diary of Anne Frank would be horrible for a first date.

2. Sob Stories – Boys Don’t Cry – I made the mistake of taking a girl on a first date to this film. She just cried all the way home on the subway. Terrible. Great movie though!

3. Adventure  Movies – Conan – Don’t go to any movie where the main actor is shirtless and muscular. Otherwise, you’re risking a comparison where you will not come out on top.


And for god’s sakes, don’t take her to a porn theatre!  Sure, it gets your intentions across, but it’s a little strong for a first date. Watch Taxi Driver to see what happens when you try to pull that one on an unsuspecting young lady. Taxi Driver, by the way, would have been a bad choice for a first date movie.

Good Luck and have fun!

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