Better Sex Anywhere On a Budget

Having a new sex partner means that you get to explore their kinky side. The new sales support person may like dress up sex. You know, nurse naughty, french maid, Marion the librarian, etc. The cute, shy guy who started last week may turn out to be an exhibitionist who loves having sex in public parks or in the stationary room. You just never know.

Some day when you have had a few drinks, suggest that you tour a sex shop to see what kinds of weird things that they have. Get the clerks to explain everything. Usually this is a lot of fun, and even if you do not purchase anything, you can laugh about it for weeks.

With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).

In an effort to help you stretch your shrinking sex toy dollar, I have compiled a list of low cost alternatives. Make sure that you check these out with a health expert. Allergies, or other problems can turn the most fun activity into a nightmare!


Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)

If you are not getting enough through regular means, then try this. Set your phone on vibrate, and place it down the front of your drawers or panties. Now it is a simple matter to call your phone from another device. Hey, finally your will be able to enjoy telemarketers calling you all the time. If you turn off your voice mail, it will ring you into an orgasm! Sort of a dingle tingle. If you have two cell phones you can call yourself during meetings at work, thus keeping a pleasant smile on your face while others are nodding off. Who knows, you may even get a promotion for being so "attentive" and "upbeat".


Vigorous Veggie Vamping

Skip the expensive sex shop and browse the aisles of your local grocery store for a suitable alternative. Once you have it home, wash it well in warm water and slide a condom on it. Add an appropriate amount of lube, and see if it has the size you like. The best options are:
1) Cucumber – recommended for average sized vaginas – take the nubs off first though
2) Carrot – ideal for smaller ladies with tight pussies
3) Zucchini – the best choice for larger sized women.
4) Baking Potato – be careful you do not lose it up there – the zucchini is likely more practical
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – Holy Cow! You have to be kidding me! Right?

So if you want, you can use the veggie of choice as a way to size a dildo purchase at a sex store. Either that, or else you can just keep on the veggie sex regime. The best deal about veggie sex is that you can size the amount of your pleasure stick without resorting to a lot of expense. A few bucks can buy you three different size veggie prototypes to try, so if you ever go to the sex shop for a more permanent type toy, you know exactly the size to purchase.

Now you may get some interesting ideas as you browse by the deli department. Anything in the deli is just not recommended, no matter how natural it may look or feel.


Unique Ways To Stimulate an Orgasm in a Woman

It is a published fact that many women can only achieve an orgasm by having their clitoris stimulated during sex. It is one reason why one of the hottest selling items in a sex shop are penis rings (cock rings) with built in vibrators. But if you think about it, there are a lot more things in your daily life that vibrate, and you can use that to your advantage. Have you ever had sex on your washing machine? If not, you are in for a treat. Put the machine on spin cycle, and go to it. For an extra kick, do something to unbalance the machine (like throwing in a floor mat all by itself). You will never look at laundry chores in the same negative light again!.

For other fun, Have her hold her phone next to her clit and give her a bunch of hot, dirty crank calls, and set to “vibrate”. This really pumps up the sexual satisfaction, and with most phone plans is dirt cheap to implement. You have to keep the phone dry, so use a condom.

For those of you in California, when the next earthquake hits, get horizontal in a hurry and take advantage of the mega vibrations. You may miss the main one, but the aftershocks should not leave you unprepared. And what a shock the aftershock would have for your partner. Add some zest on your next train ride with some sexcapades. Most trains have some interesting vibrations, rocking and rolling when in motion. When all else fails, pull out the trusty cell phone again Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Airplanes are at their best in rough weather, but the spoil sports in the cockpits always turn on the seat belt signs. Of course, a blanket or two can give you enough privacy for a quickie.  Then of course, sex in the bed of a pickup truck while going over a washboard road is just about the best. This takes at least one helper, or another couple so you can take turns in the bed of the truck. Of course when going for it in the truck bed, some sort of padding is a necessity. Use and air mattress or at least a couple of yoga pads. Now go have some fun out there!

Ya Hoo!!

If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links: 
Sex Advice for Men


Sex Advice for Women

The One Night Stand

I had emailed a girl on POF but did not get a reply. That happens a lot and I sort of flushed it from my memory.  So I was a bit surprised a couple of weeks later to get a reply, and even more surprised when the reply contained her phone number. It struck me as strange that someone who didn't know me that well and had never spoke to me in person would all of a sudden ,just out of the blue, leave me her phone number. Likely I should have run like a chicken, but since I had not been with anyone steady in a long time, I decided to take a chance and texted her.

We communicated back and forth by text for a couple of days before we agreed to meet for coffee. She had to drive about sixty miles to see me, so I was kinda flattered about that.We lingered over coffee for quite a while, and that extended into supper as well. I edged the conversation around to see if she would be interested in spending the night. Much to my surprise, she accepted but said it would have to be at her house because she had to return the car soon. On the drive back we began to kiss, and it seemed to be going great. Once we arrived at her house, we quickly settled onto her couch, listening to music and resumed our mutual stimulation. It was really a rush.

Suddenly, she started getting text messages by the dozens and she started to focus on replying to them. Then her phone started to ring as well, and she kept answering it. I really thought it was quite rude for her to be spending more time on the phone than with me. To add insult to injury, when she was not focused on the phone, she started to tell me all about her ex boyfriend and her trials with him! Like I cared! I just sat there pretending to really give a shit, making noises to her like, “uh huh....yea....oh.... that’s too bad”, figuring she probably still had a thing for him. But hey, I must have done something right because we eventually had sex so it was worth listening to her shit. We were hardly done before she jumped out of bed and scurried down the hall to her friend's room. She never returned. I waited up for a bit to see if she would come back, but I gave up about a half hour later and decided to just sack out.

When I woke up, I decided that this was all too weird for me and decided to get out of here as soon as possible. As I opened the bedroom door, I saw her roommate standing there looking at me as if I was something squirmy. Her roommate triggered all my psycho chick alarms. I have no idea why. Then it struck me. She was looking at me as if I was competition. These two ladies had a thing for each other but it seemed that the one who picked me up was bisexual. Just to be perverse, I decided to have a shower before I left. The water in this backward hell hole probably was not fit to let an animal drink let alone a human because it smelled like boiled eggs. By this time I was really pissed off.

I got dressed and went back to the room I had slept in and waited for her to  explain what the heck was going on. Mostly, I just wanted to know how I was going to get home. When she came it she told me she was in a spot because she had borrowed the car from her friend's mother without permission. Her roommate's mom had flipped her lid and kicked her out over the episode. She had to leave in an hour.

I noticed she looked like she was on something and her roommate looked all strung out as well. This freaky looking fellow came over to take us to her own mother's home. The house was set back about a half mile from the road. When we got there, there was a bunch of sorry looking people hanging around. They all looked like they were on something pretty powerful, and from the strange smell around, I guessed that they were actually cooking up a batch of something out back someplace. This entire group was all just hanging around listening to some of the worst music I have ever heard. And of course they had to have the volume up full to boot. It was sort of like one of those bad nightmare scenarios that you see in some B grade Hollywood movies. I started to get a bit scared.

One if these guys stirred himself enough to tell me which train I needed to take home. My date and her mother left me standing there for a few minutes, and when they returned, we left. I guess the plan was to drop off my date and her mother someplace and then have me ferried to the train station, because that is what ended up happening.
I finally realized what it was about this guy that rubbed me the wrong way. He had his teeth filed of all things! All of his front teeth were pointed. About the only thing that he needed to look more like Count Dracula was the cape. Of course he also needed a good Bela Lugosi accent. Either way, I was weirded out. His constant grinning was getting to me. The longer I was with him the more I was certain that I would crap my pants. I had to clinch my cheeks together as tight as I could and hoped I would get home in one piece. I hoped he had not decided to drive me all the way home, but suddenly we arrived at the train station. I wasted no time getting out of that car.

As it turned out, with all the delays at the house, we missed the train I was supposed to catch. I had to wait three more hours for the next one. On top of that, I did not have enough money to get all the way back. So I just sat back and stewed. I had to get off about an hour away from my destination and hitchhike the rest of the way. It had started to rain, and it was getting colder. I was pretty wet and miserable by the time I got to my apartment. I tell you, it had never looked so cozy. The first thing I did was take a nice hot shower in 'clean' water.

Plenty of Fish might better be called Plenty Of Freaks from my perspective. I have used a couple of other dating sites since, but they are all paying sites now. There are times when you get what you pay for, and totally free dating sites are the epitome of that expression. There is nothing much that filters out the riffraff on free sites.
Not all free sites are bad. In fact, POF may actually be okay for most people. I may have had a worse experience than most. But in the final analysis, they have a harder time filtering out idiots because they tend to get more of them.

Once I had made the decision to leave POF, I had another issue to solve. How would I find a replacement site that was actually better. After a lot of searching, I finally found a site that rated a bunch of dating sites. It has been successful for me, so I am passing that on to you. There are risks in joining any dating site, but especially so for free sites. So be safe. The link below is one that I have used successfully. I trust it will be a valuable resource for you as well.

Top 10 Dating Sites

Have Sex – Will Orgasm

In Victorian times, most adult ladies never experienced and orgasm. In fact, many did not even know what an orgasm was.  Many women were brought up with no sexual instruction, and sometimes with negative messages about their bodies, and their sexuality. In fact a twin study climaxing in 2005 found that one in three women reported never or seldom achieving orgasm during intercourse, and just one tenth always achieved an orgasm. Orgasms don’t come easily for many women. A woman who cannot have an orgasm is as frustrated as a man with an erectile disfunction.

Now the question is how do we change all this, especially when most women now a days  want orgasms. Lets start by defining a female orgasm.  Woman experiencing an orgasm is much like what men achieve-there is a peak of sexual excitement, marking a moment of intense pleasure, and a pulsing, electric sensation that spreads out through the body.  The rhythmic pulsations take place within the pelvic area also encompassing the vaginal walls. One key difference is that women do not have to have a recovery period, and may have many orgasms with continued stimulation, usually within 60 to 120 seconds. In most women, there is no fluid ejaculated during orgasm.  This is an important fact for men to know, so as to not feel like they have not pleasured their woman, or make them feel inadequate because they don't.

With the right stimulation, most women can achieve multiple orgasms if they so desire.

Women are physiologically pickier than men when it comes to achieving an orgasm. For instance:

1) They need to feel wanted, and appreciated a sensual surrounding
3) A partner whom they really like
4) Relaxed environment
5) The right degree if clitoral stimulation – not to rough, not too easy

You will not have great success in giving your partner orgasms if you fail to provide most of the above.

Men should understand that women will have different varieties of orgasms---the most common is orgasm of the clitoris.  The clitoris may be stimulated in a few ways, but the most common are oral stimulation or hand manipulation. The clitoral orgasm may be wet or dry, and leads to pulsations within the uterus . Another type of orgasm is called the G Spot. The G spot is tougher to zero in on: it is located on the upper side of the vagina – about one half way in. The majority of women will have the G spot a few inches inside the vagina, and on the upper side.  Gentle but firm pressure is required to find the G spot if the woman is not stimulated yet.  It is a softer area that is about one half centimeter in size. The location and size varies somewhat from woman to woman.  A vaginal orgasm will usually occur if the G-spot is appropriately stimulated.

Figure 1, Internal Female Anatomy:




In summary, an orgasm is something amazing that will provide both partners with a wonderful rush of pleasurable feelings. The next list is a summary that can help you to help your female partner have orgasms regularly:

1) Women are touchy, feely people – use gentle stroking with your hands, lips and tongue.Be gentle, especially when touching her genitals, or rubbing her clitoris
3) Gently kiss her breasts to create excitement
4) Take it slow- it is not a race
5) Talk to your partner, find out what she likes
6) Be a tease- touching her pleasurable spots then withdrawing over, and over again. This will build arousal, and heighten orgasm.
7) Use your own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris – however she may need additional lubrication, you can buy lubricants at any drugstore.
8) Be careful not to over stimulate some parts of the body – too much manipulation of the nipples or clitoris can cause pain
9) Experiment: try different things
10) Discuss anything new you may want to try and listen to her, you do not want to push her into something that will spoil the mood

Men should use this guide, because if their partner can enjoy orgasms every time they have sex, then you will definitely have more sex.

If you are an sexually unhappy woman – nag your partner to read this article, after all, your entire future is at stake!

Good Luck!

If this article has peaked your interest then just visit the link below:

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/advice_for_men.php

 

The Secrets of Victoria Secret

I decided to join an online dating site a while back because I was having no luck in finding someone that I liked in the usual bars and nightclubs that I frequented. The first step of course was to create an online profile for the women to know about me. I was a successful businessman who had leveraged a small inheritance into a respectable fortune in real estate. I had never been married, and I was looking to settle down with someone special.

After a few weeks of chatting with a lot of elegant seeming women, I eventually found someone that I seemed compatible with.  At first we just emailed each other, but that quickly lead to online chat sessions. Eventually we decided to have our first in-person date.  We met at a not quite intimate restaurant. My first suggestions of more intimate venues were not to her liking. I finally realized that she was just being cautious. After this insight, I suggested a more family style restaurant in a large mall. She accepted immediately.  Lesson learned!

I wanted to look presentable, so I got a haircut, and picked up a new blazer type jacket to go with my slacks. I hate the whole I could care less about you idea that some guys portray. I abhor the entire look of not shaving and looking scruffy that many men sport today. I think it is insulting to women. Mainly because it looks like she is not important enough for you to put yourself out for.  I like to dress up for a date because it communicates to the woman that I care about her. It is a tacit compliment to them that if you fix yourself up, you must think highly of them. Before I ventured out the door for my date, I was looking as respectable as my budget allowed. I had showered, shaved and was dressed in my new slacks and blazer.

As usual, I was early for our reservations to make sure that there was no issues and waited for her to arrive. When she showed up, only slightly late, I was a bit amazed. She was pretty in her pictures, but in person she was even prettier, which is a trick that few women can pull off. But it was not her face that was so special. There is just something that some women have when they move that makes you want to praise God and sing halleluiah to his greatest accomplishment, the female body. Well, let me tell you, she had it in spades. She had a terrific body shape, but that was not what it was that was the attraction. It was her elegance when she moved that held they eye. It was an angelic flow of movement that you just could not get enough of. Every mans eyes in the place watched her as she moved across the room. Her figure was amazing, and her clothes had been selected to showcase that figure to it's fullest. I was tongue tied.

Normally I am not a guy who is enamored with large breasts, or a curvy body of any type. I am really much more attracted to a slim compact body. The same goes for butts, legs and everything else. There are always specific cases that belie my normal bias of course.Delta Burke was a woman who had a presence that could make me look past my 'heavy' bias to see the incredible beauty of the woman underneath.

Even though I am attracted to slim, I detest the anemia that tends to 'grace' the catwalks of the fashion industry today. Most of these women are just freaks. To me, a woman who has a trim body because she exercises is twice as sexy as a woman with large breasts that jiggle all over the place. My date on the other hand seemed to have the best of both body types and the disadvantages of neither. No wonder mens heads turned! I kept being attracted to her tight and toned body as she moved with the grace of a feline across the room.  Nice rounded breasts, a slim torso, and  a nice rounded rear end. Her rear was sort of like what a dancer would have. Muscular and tight. Truly a nice package to look at.

We ate dinner and really enjoyed each others company. Since it was a first date, I had not planned a lot of extra anything beyond the meal. We just lingered over the remains of our dinner and chatted. Eventually I took her home, and we kissed goodnight.  As far as first dates go I would have scored it a nine out of ten. We planned to meet again the following weekend.

The ensuing weekend saw things go even better. On that Saturday we had brunch. Later we took in an afternoon cinema before going out for dinner. Later that night we went dancing. As we danced, I noticed that she felt a lot different than any other woman that I had danced with. I just put it down to the material in the clothes that she was wearing in conjunction with that tight body. The following weekend, we went out again. During the day we just walked through a park, and afterwards we did dinner and dancing. I could not believe how good things were going.

That night, we kissed, and that led to other things. While we were desperately ripping off each others clothes, I ran into some significant surprises. She was wearing a Victoria Secret triple push up bra with (I guess you would call it) mammary foam (rather than memory foam) that exaggerated her bra size significantly.  But I was okay with that, because I am not a fan of large boobs anyway. But on top of that, the reason she was trim and tight was because she was wearing this thing called a body shaper. (I thought that girdles went out in the sixties with women's liberation – at least that is what my mother told me). When she took it off she actually had no muscle tone and some slight flab underneath. And as a final kicker, she was wearing a false butt! Holey moley, a body phony! She was a fake person! I felt betrayed!

Well that took the wind out of my sales and the stiffness out of everything else. I asked her how could we expect to have a future together when everything about her was a lie. I told her that if she had showed me how she really was, I would have fallen for her anyway. I said that preferred her the way she actually was, but she had crossed a trust line with me that I could not get over. We parted ways that night, which is a shame really. She was so perfect for me otherwise.

I just do not understand the way that some people go through life pretending to be something that they are not. But in hindsight, maybe it was actually a good thing that had happened. At least that avoided the embarrassment of me telling her that I was a car park attendant.

For more fun dating stories and dating advice click on the following:

Dating Advice

How My Big Date Went To Shambles

I was having a lot of trouble getting a date. I mean, even my family tried to set me up with some girls they knew but nothing really came out of it, not even a second date. “Hey” I'm not a bad looking guy and I have a decent job so whats the problem? It appears that I had one bad night and now I'm branded for life in my normal circle of acquaintances.

So here is my sad tale of woe, and hopefully you will learn something from it.

It began simply enough when some friends cajoled me into going to a formal dance with them. They told me to wear dress pants and a jacket. The pants were not an issue as I had a couple of suitable pairs. The jacket I had to go out and buy, so off I went. I didn't regularly do much shopping and had no idea what I was looking for until a sales clerk came up to me and asked if he could help. I explained I needed a jacket to go with my black dress pants. He indicated that they had some really great, inexpensive jackets that they had imported from Mexico recently. I immediately liked the color. I thought that the yellow shade would make me stand out and I was trying to make a positive impression. The material seemed a bit rough, but the price was great so I bought one and proudly carried it home with me.

That night I showered, shaved and combed my hair just right then put on my clothes. My father was passing by my room and I asked him how I looked. He responded “Nice Benny son”. “What the hell is a Benny?”, I thought to myself. I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Here was someone who was an up and comer with I thought. Unfortunately, I did not notice a pesky loose thread on the back of my jacket near the shoulder seam.

When I got to the dance to meet my buddies, I saw that it was well attended. It seemed that everyone that I knew was there, and a bunch more on top of that. The place was really hopping! My buddies had set this date up with me and she was a bit late. That did not bother me too much because it gave me a chance to hang with my friends and relax a bit. When she got there, and after we were introduced, she wanted to head out on the dance floor immediately. I was pleased that she was a nice looking girl, and the evening was certainly getting off to a positive start. All of a sudden she informs me that there is a lose thread on the shoulder of my jacket. I told her to forget about it but it seems she just couldn't keep her fingers off the stupid thing. She decided to do me a favor and pull it off. Unfortunately when she pulled it all hell broke loose.

As we started the next dance, she started tugging on the thread. Instead of breaking off however, it just kept unraveling. Eventually it reached the floor. They were playing “All Shook Up” by Elvis Presley. It was a new rendition of it and I hardly recognized it as the tune that my dad used to play occasionally. As the thread fell on the floor, it began to get tangled around several ankles. The faster they danced the more entangled they became. Someone tripped and fell into a table, spilling everything on it all over the place. Other people tripped and the disaster increased. By the time the dust settled, six people were on the floor and six tables full of drinks were overturned. What a mess! My buddies hightailed it out the exit laughing their guts out. My date just walked off in a huff!  I was all on my own.

The owner of the club started to scream at me. He was truly pissed! As I stood there alone wishing I could just crawl under the table and hide, people began to snicker and curse me. The owner quick marched me out of his establishment, and threw the wad of yellow string at me as I exited. The only part of my yellow jacket that I was still wearing as I exited into the night was one sleeve. As I headed home, my evening ruined, I took what was left of my new jacket and threw it in a trash can along the way.

So that is my tale of woe! No sane woman who knew me, or knew of me, would date me. My reputation and $500.00 could not even buy me a hooker!!

It was my sister who eventually pointed me in the right direction. She was sick of me moping around by then. She said that there was no way that anyone in the neighborhood would ever date me again (as if I did not know that). She said I would have to either move away, or else try to connect with someone on an online dating site. Moving was out, I just could not afford it. A dating site seemed like a good idea, so I decided to give it a try. I picked one at random, but had no luck. So I googled dating, and was overwhelmed at the number of sites. Which one would be the best for me. I tried the top site POF.com – stands for plenty of fish, but I did not have much luck on it.  My sister came to my rescue again and suggested the link that I will share below. It has a big list of quality dating sites to choose from. I signed up to a couple of sites, and finally met someone who can take me for who I am, and not the idiot who bought a cheap jacket once.

So if you find yourself in a dating bind like I was, then check out the link below. I am sure it will work for you the same way that it worked for me.

Top Dating Sites

Pros And Cons of Dating Milfs

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Anatomy of a First Date

First dates are your best opportunity to dazzle someone. But it is also the most likely point where you will turn them off forever. So much is on the line that there would likely be a solid business model out there for someone to coach you for a first date. Just like in the movie "Hitch". It is important that you are genuine with them as to who you are. Do not put on a big act about being prince charming if you would never normally think of opening a door for someone. On the other hand, do not go out of your way to be a slob either, even if that is how you tend to be in private. With this in mind, here are a few tips that I have compiled, based on my dating record that might help you.

1. Reset Your Libido

This concept was first introduced to the mass public in the movie "There's Something About Mary" – starring Ben Stiller , Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon Just before, or during your pre-date shower, give yourself a hand job. With a flaccid member, you are more likely to be your usual intelligent self, rather than constantly trying to shift the conversation over to discussions of getting her in bed. Going in fully cocked, you will focus too much on her physical attributes and that is a turn off for 90% of women. You’ll try to listen to her, but all you’ll be able to think about is where you’d like to stick your tongue. Discharging the rounds from the chamber will also give you more control if indeed sex is the climax – pun intended – of the evening. If you last long enough for her to orgasm one or two times, she will likely be receptive to a return engagement.


2. Get Her Name Right

I called a girl by the wrong name on a first date once, she walked out on me. To make sure you don’t make this blunder, write her name on your cell phone and check it throughout the night to remind yourself.


3. Swallow Before Speaking

Taking small bites allows you to be able to participate in your side of a conversation more quickly. Also, have the courteously to try to pace our your side of the conversation so you end just at the point she is swallowing. It allows for a good pace, and no awkward silences. I was on a first date once, and started to talk with my mouth still half full. We both watched as a piece of my dinner flew out of my mouth and landed on her plate. Awkward. Needless to say it was our last date!


4. If You Bring Her To Your Place, Hide The Porn

She does not want to know that you are into granny porn! At least not yet. Make a habit of tidying up your apartment before every date, just in case. And that means hiding the porn as well. Do not forget to empty your DVD player. Firing it up to watch Must Love Dogs only to have your DVD player auto-load– Debbie Does Dead Dogs – would really suck.


5. Minimize Your Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol can be a great social lubricant. However, it can also make you look like a total jackass. Whatever you think you can normally drink and still be respectable, cut that total in half. Start your dinner by ordering a large bottle of water with your initial drink order. Towards the end of the meal, switch off to coffee or some form of tea, rather than order an expensive desert wine. Making mistakes and drinking too much is a common mistake. One I have made myself. But the results speak for themselves. Only one time did my drinking excessively not get in the way of subsequent dates, and that was when my date turned out to be a complete lush. It was fun at first, but I broke it off after a few months.


6. Don’t Talk About Your Ex

On on evening when I got too drunk and messy, I also made another first date mistake. I talked too much about my ex. Talking about your failed relationships is just stupid. If pressed, do not lay blame. Say that the relationship was not working out because, as the relationship progressed, you both had discovered that you both had significantly different incompatible interests. Learn to talk about women's shoes. It is a topic that allows for some humor. You must keep her entertained, otherwise, your chances for a second date will disappear.


With any luck, you can pick up on a few of the insights that I have gained over the years to make you a master of first dates.


For more insights, try this link:
Dating Advice for Men