The Secrets of Victoria Secret

I decided to join an online dating site a while back because I was having no luck in finding someone that I liked in the usual bars and nightclubs that I frequented. The first step of course was to create an online profile for the women to know about me. I was a successful businessman who had leveraged a small inheritance into a respectable fortune in real estate. I had never been married, and I was looking to settle down with someone special.

After a few weeks of chatting with a lot of elegant seeming women, I eventually found someone that I seemed compatible with.  At first we just emailed each other, but that quickly lead to online chat sessions. Eventually we decided to have our first in-person date.  We met at a not quite intimate restaurant. My first suggestions of more intimate venues were not to her liking. I finally realized that she was just being cautious. After this insight, I suggested a more family style restaurant in a large mall. She accepted immediately.  Lesson learned!

I wanted to look presentable, so I got a haircut, and picked up a new blazer type jacket to go with my slacks. I hate the whole I could care less about you idea that some guys portray. I abhor the entire look of not shaving and looking scruffy that many men sport today. I think it is insulting to women. Mainly because it looks like she is not important enough for you to put yourself out for.  I like to dress up for a date because it communicates to the woman that I care about her. It is a tacit compliment to them that if you fix yourself up, you must think highly of them. Before I ventured out the door for my date, I was looking as respectable as my budget allowed. I had showered, shaved and was dressed in my new slacks and blazer.

As usual, I was early for our reservations to make sure that there was no issues and waited for her to arrive. When she showed up, only slightly late, I was a bit amazed. She was pretty in her pictures, but in person she was even prettier, which is a trick that few women can pull off. But it was not her face that was so special. There is just something that some women have when they move that makes you want to praise God and sing halleluiah to his greatest accomplishment, the female body. Well, let me tell you, she had it in spades. She had a terrific body shape, but that was not what it was that was the attraction. It was her elegance when she moved that held they eye. It was an angelic flow of movement that you just could not get enough of. Every mans eyes in the place watched her as she moved across the room. Her figure was amazing, and her clothes had been selected to showcase that figure to it's fullest. I was tongue tied.

Normally I am not a guy who is enamored with large breasts, or a curvy body of any type. I am really much more attracted to a slim compact body. The same goes for butts, legs and everything else. There are always specific cases that belie my normal bias of course.Delta Burke was a woman who had a presence that could make me look past my 'heavy' bias to see the incredible beauty of the woman underneath.

Even though I am attracted to slim, I detest the anemia that tends to 'grace' the catwalks of the fashion industry today. Most of these women are just freaks. To me, a woman who has a trim body because she exercises is twice as sexy as a woman with large breasts that jiggle all over the place. My date on the other hand seemed to have the best of both body types and the disadvantages of neither. No wonder mens heads turned! I kept being attracted to her tight and toned body as she moved with the grace of a feline across the room.  Nice rounded breasts, a slim torso, and  a nice rounded rear end. Her rear was sort of like what a dancer would have. Muscular and tight. Truly a nice package to look at.

We ate dinner and really enjoyed each others company. Since it was a first date, I had not planned a lot of extra anything beyond the meal. We just lingered over the remains of our dinner and chatted. Eventually I took her home, and we kissed goodnight.  As far as first dates go I would have scored it a nine out of ten. We planned to meet again the following weekend.

The ensuing weekend saw things go even better. On that Saturday we had brunch. Later we took in an afternoon cinema before going out for dinner. Later that night we went dancing. As we danced, I noticed that she felt a lot different than any other woman that I had danced with. I just put it down to the material in the clothes that she was wearing in conjunction with that tight body. The following weekend, we went out again. During the day we just walked through a park, and afterwards we did dinner and dancing. I could not believe how good things were going.

That night, we kissed, and that led to other things. While we were desperately ripping off each others clothes, I ran into some significant surprises. She was wearing a Victoria Secret triple push up bra with (I guess you would call it) mammary foam (rather than memory foam) that exaggerated her bra size significantly.  But I was okay with that, because I am not a fan of large boobs anyway. But on top of that, the reason she was trim and tight was because she was wearing this thing called a body shaper. (I thought that girdles went out in the sixties with women's liberation – at least that is what my mother told me). When she took it off she actually had no muscle tone and some slight flab underneath. And as a final kicker, she was wearing a false butt! Holey moley, a body phony! She was a fake person! I felt betrayed!

Well that took the wind out of my sales and the stiffness out of everything else. I asked her how could we expect to have a future together when everything about her was a lie. I told her that if she had showed me how she really was, I would have fallen for her anyway. I said that preferred her the way she actually was, but she had crossed a trust line with me that I could not get over. We parted ways that night, which is a shame really. She was so perfect for me otherwise.

I just do not understand the way that some people go through life pretending to be something that they are not. But in hindsight, maybe it was actually a good thing that had happened. At least that avoided the embarrassment of me telling her that I was a car park attendant.

For more fun dating stories and dating advice click on the following:

Dating Advice

How My Big Date Went To Shambles

I was having a lot of trouble getting a date. I mean, even my family tried to set me up with some girls they knew but nothing really came out of it, not even a second date. “Hey” I'm not a bad looking guy and I have a decent job so whats the problem? It appears that I had one bad night and now I'm branded for life in my normal circle of acquaintances.

So here is my sad tale of woe, and hopefully you will learn something from it.

It began simply enough when some friends cajoled me into going to a formal dance with them. They told me to wear dress pants and a jacket. The pants were not an issue as I had a couple of suitable pairs. The jacket I had to go out and buy, so off I went. I didn't regularly do much shopping and had no idea what I was looking for until a sales clerk came up to me and asked if he could help. I explained I needed a jacket to go with my black dress pants. He indicated that they had some really great, inexpensive jackets that they had imported from Mexico recently. I immediately liked the color. I thought that the yellow shade would make me stand out and I was trying to make a positive impression. The material seemed a bit rough, but the price was great so I bought one and proudly carried it home with me.

That night I showered, shaved and combed my hair just right then put on my clothes. My father was passing by my room and I asked him how I looked. He responded “Nice Benny son”. “What the hell is a Benny?”, I thought to myself. I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Here was someone who was an up and comer with I thought. Unfortunately, I did not notice a pesky loose thread on the back of my jacket near the shoulder seam.

When I got to the dance to meet my buddies, I saw that it was well attended. It seemed that everyone that I knew was there, and a bunch more on top of that. The place was really hopping! My buddies had set this date up with me and she was a bit late. That did not bother me too much because it gave me a chance to hang with my friends and relax a bit. When she got there, and after we were introduced, she wanted to head out on the dance floor immediately. I was pleased that she was a nice looking girl, and the evening was certainly getting off to a positive start. All of a sudden she informs me that there is a lose thread on the shoulder of my jacket. I told her to forget about it but it seems she just couldn't keep her fingers off the stupid thing. She decided to do me a favor and pull it off. Unfortunately when she pulled it all hell broke loose.

As we started the next dance, she started tugging on the thread. Instead of breaking off however, it just kept unraveling. Eventually it reached the floor. They were playing “All Shook Up” by Elvis Presley. It was a new rendition of it and I hardly recognized it as the tune that my dad used to play occasionally. As the thread fell on the floor, it began to get tangled around several ankles. The faster they danced the more entangled they became. Someone tripped and fell into a table, spilling everything on it all over the place. Other people tripped and the disaster increased. By the time the dust settled, six people were on the floor and six tables full of drinks were overturned. What a mess! My buddies hightailed it out the exit laughing their guts out. My date just walked off in a huff!  I was all on my own.

The owner of the club started to scream at me. He was truly pissed! As I stood there alone wishing I could just crawl under the table and hide, people began to snicker and curse me. The owner quick marched me out of his establishment, and threw the wad of yellow string at me as I exited. The only part of my yellow jacket that I was still wearing as I exited into the night was one sleeve. As I headed home, my evening ruined, I took what was left of my new jacket and threw it in a trash can along the way.

So that is my tale of woe! No sane woman who knew me, or knew of me, would date me. My reputation and $500.00 could not even buy me a hooker!!

It was my sister who eventually pointed me in the right direction. She was sick of me moping around by then. She said that there was no way that anyone in the neighborhood would ever date me again (as if I did not know that). She said I would have to either move away, or else try to connect with someone on an online dating site. Moving was out, I just could not afford it. A dating site seemed like a good idea, so I decided to give it a try. I picked one at random, but had no luck. So I googled dating, and was overwhelmed at the number of sites. Which one would be the best for me. I tried the top site POF.com – stands for plenty of fish, but I did not have much luck on it.  My sister came to my rescue again and suggested the link that I will share below. It has a big list of quality dating sites to choose from. I signed up to a couple of sites, and finally met someone who can take me for who I am, and not the idiot who bought a cheap jacket once.

So if you find yourself in a dating bind like I was, then check out the link below. I am sure it will work for you the same way that it worked for me.

Top Dating Sites

Pros And Cons of Dating Milfs

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Anatomy of a First Date

First dates are your best opportunity to dazzle someone. But it is also the most likely point where you will turn them off forever. So much is on the line that there would likely be a solid business model out there for someone to coach you for a first date. Just like in the movie "Hitch". It is important that you are genuine with them as to who you are. Do not put on a big act about being prince charming if you would never normally think of opening a door for someone. On the other hand, do not go out of your way to be a slob either, even if that is how you tend to be in private. With this in mind, here are a few tips that I have compiled, based on my dating record that might help you.

1. Reset Your Libido

This concept was first introduced to the mass public in the movie "There's Something About Mary" – starring Ben Stiller , Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon Just before, or during your pre-date shower, give yourself a hand job. With a flaccid member, you are more likely to be your usual intelligent self, rather than constantly trying to shift the conversation over to discussions of getting her in bed. Going in fully cocked, you will focus too much on her physical attributes and that is a turn off for 90% of women. You’ll try to listen to her, but all you’ll be able to think about is where you’d like to stick your tongue. Discharging the rounds from the chamber will also give you more control if indeed sex is the climax – pun intended – of the evening. If you last long enough for her to orgasm one or two times, she will likely be receptive to a return engagement.


2. Get Her Name Right

I called a girl by the wrong name on a first date once, she walked out on me. To make sure you don’t make this blunder, write her name on your cell phone and check it throughout the night to remind yourself.


3. Swallow Before Speaking

Taking small bites allows you to be able to participate in your side of a conversation more quickly. Also, have the courteously to try to pace our your side of the conversation so you end just at the point she is swallowing. It allows for a good pace, and no awkward silences. I was on a first date once, and started to talk with my mouth still half full. We both watched as a piece of my dinner flew out of my mouth and landed on her plate. Awkward. Needless to say it was our last date!


4. If You Bring Her To Your Place, Hide The Porn

She does not want to know that you are into granny porn! At least not yet. Make a habit of tidying up your apartment before every date, just in case. And that means hiding the porn as well. Do not forget to empty your DVD player. Firing it up to watch Must Love Dogs only to have your DVD player auto-load– Debbie Does Dead Dogs – would really suck.


5. Minimize Your Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol can be a great social lubricant. However, it can also make you look like a total jackass. Whatever you think you can normally drink and still be respectable, cut that total in half. Start your dinner by ordering a large bottle of water with your initial drink order. Towards the end of the meal, switch off to coffee or some form of tea, rather than order an expensive desert wine. Making mistakes and drinking too much is a common mistake. One I have made myself. But the results speak for themselves. Only one time did my drinking excessively not get in the way of subsequent dates, and that was when my date turned out to be a complete lush. It was fun at first, but I broke it off after a few months.


6. Don’t Talk About Your Ex

On on evening when I got too drunk and messy, I also made another first date mistake. I talked too much about my ex. Talking about your failed relationships is just stupid. If pressed, do not lay blame. Say that the relationship was not working out because, as the relationship progressed, you both had discovered that you both had significantly different incompatible interests. Learn to talk about women's shoes. It is a topic that allows for some humor. You must keep her entertained, otherwise, your chances for a second date will disappear.


With any luck, you can pick up on a few of the insights that I have gained over the years to make you a master of first dates.


For more insights, try this link:
Dating Advice for Men

What Seniors Are Looking For

Being single again after a lifetime of marriage and being over fifty can be pretty daunting. At least half of women over the age of 60 live alone compared to only one out of six men. Dating sure has become a different animal in the last couple or three decades. Today it is not unusual to see a grandmother buying condoms along with her Metamucil or denture cleaner. Older men are often so confused that they don't know if they should open a door, pull a chair out, or pay for the whole dinner and movie.

Several old television relic’s have proven more than once that we all have a come back or two in us, but with every failed date that idea, like our perfect hearing, is slowly fading away. Most of us would like to believe that we can come back from the ashes of a previous relationship a few times, but after a while, with little luck, hope will no longer seem so spring eternal anymore. Approaching a relationship the second or third time around can be pretty daunting, especially if you have been out of the game for a few decades because of a successful relationship.  Finding yourself splitting in your 50's can be a very shattering experience. Becoming a widow or widower is even more so. People tend to be a bit more set in their ways and comfortable with their life styles when they are in their 50's and beyond. This makes it much more difficult to find someone compatible than when you are in your more flexible 20's. If you are looking to find someone who just meshes with you and your lifestyle, the odds are severely against you. If you intend to find a new life partner, then you must be prepared to do a few changes. These do not have to be radical, but you do need to do some things differently. Personally, I always hated golf, but I took it up so that I would have a better chance of finding someone – and hey, I grew to like it, so it was not a waste.

I have had dates that demanded I pay for half the meal, the gas they used to come to my home and pick me up, and to add insult to injury demanded that for our next date I pick them up,  how pig headed is that. I guess I am not that liberated yet. You will often have to sit through a stressful evening of stories about their current job or past profession, their deceased wife,  ex girl friends, how good they are in bed, and how their piles are inflamed and they cannot sit for another minute. Of course several of them will also bring up the topic of Cialis or Viagra, just trying to lay a foundation for later on.

And its just as discouraging for the men.  I have heard many  disaster stories from friends, who are at the point of no return when it comes to dating. All of these are symptoms of a fundamental incompatibility with each other from the get-go.

So why is it so tough to find a match when you are a senior?  Life is supposed to get easier as you get older. Unfortunately this does not seem to apply to mature people dating. What is the source of the problem? We are not amateurs in the dating game! We know who we are and what we want. So why is it so tough? Could it be we have our standards set too high? I doubt it! Mature adults want the same things that the younger set are looking for in a relationship. They all want:

1) Someone To Listen
2) Someone To Care
3)Someone Interesting
4)Someone Compassionate
5)Someone Loving
6)Someone Understanding
7)Someone Compatible
8)Someone With Similar Interests
9)Someone With similar Values
10)Someone To Share Our Lives With
11)Someone Who Respects Me
12)Someone I Can Respect

Is that too much to ask for?

After discussing my relationship vacuum with several of my good friends. They suggested that I try one of the dozens of senior dating sites available online. I was reluctant to try using a dating site, but after some encouraging information from my pals, and after being sexually self satisfied for quite some time, I decided to give it a go. I turned on my computer and searched for senior dating sites. There were too many. It was just too much.

It was pretty overwhelming initially. I started having flashbacks of when I was a kid trying to choose a candy bar at the store. I explained this to one one my friends and she suggested a site for me. This site is a dating site rating service. They have tested thousands of dating sites, and have a list of the sites that they recommend. All of them are categorized to make it easier to select. My friend said that she had signed up to a couple of the recommended sites just to make sure that she would find someone fast.

She said that is how she met her boyfriend. Here I was thinking that she met this terrific guy at work, boy was I taken aback. So I gave them a try, it was simple I just created a profile, told them what I was looking for in a man, and they did the rest. Pretty soon I find myself matched to several interesting guys, and they can all actually carry on an intelligent conversation. I'm in dating heaven! For the first time in in what seems like centuries I am actually going out with exciting men and enjoying my self, life really does get better with age.

If you are approaching your golden years and you are seeking the person you want to spend the rest of your life with with, then take the first step. Check out the link below and join one or two of the sites. You will never regret it.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/seniordating.php

A Condom Conundrum

Being on the Dating scene is a continuous adventure. The exercise is usually fun, and always stimulating. You are sure to meet many new people. Some you will click with and develop a budding friendship. Many will quickly fall by the wayside. There are a few however that will develop into longer term friends, and even lovers.

Along with the quest for the love of your life comes the side benefit of a lot of sex with new partners. Not that there is anything wrong with that. After all, adult relationships almost always revolve around sex. Only a moron would have unprotected sex with a bunch of new partners, and your primary protection is the condom.

Most men and women do not like condoms at all. They severely reduce the sensation for men and as such often make sex less pleasurable for women as well. If you had to put a condom on your tongue before eating, there would be no fat people in the world. You don’t starve, but you don’t TASTE!” In this day and age of AIDS and other debilitating STDs, you would have to be crazy not to wear one.

At least there are some fun choices for the selection of your little rubber buddies now. There are now more choices than just slippery or dry. There are some really kinky condoms out there for the adventurous – flavored, and colored, and studded, and ribbed. Make sure you read the packaging before you go too crazy with any of them though – some are novelty condoms, and do not portend to prevent STIs or pregnancy. They’re just for fun. In fact, if the lights are out, you can use the glow in the dark condoms to read the wrapper. Handy!

Some of the more unique types of condoms raising their heads are quite amusing. One is the “Inspiral Condom”. It is a spiral shaped condom that is quite the rage. U.S. Surgeon Dr. A. Reddy, who also invented the prototype of the original female condom, did the fundamental research that lead to its development. When in place on the penis, it looks like a big screw. According to the rave reviews online, it creates intense sensation in the man and woman, while creating a feel like the sheath is thinner than it actually is. Getting screwed by someone has never been so enjoyable!

For those studs out there who want staying power, there is the new “Viagra Condom”. It stimulates a longer and more protracted erection. It is designed for dudes who have a hard time keeping it up once the condom is on. Looks like my personal pack of pleasure is going to bulge with at least one more item!

Besides sex, condoms have found a myriad of other practical uses. They are often packed into survival kits where they are used to keep things dry, hold drinking water, and even to fashion a sling shot with.

A gallon of water! That surprised me. Especially considering that the average ejaculate a man expends during sex is one and a half teaspoons. Overkill!

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/top10datingpersonals.php

Plenty Of Freaky Chicks

I had emailed a girl on POF but did not get a reply. That happens a lot and I sort of flushed it from my memory.  I got a reply back from this particular individual several weeks later, complete with phone number. I was a bit surprised however when her email included her phone number. I mean, I had never even communicated with her before. Likely I should have run like a chicken, but since I had not been with anyone steady in a long time, I decided to take a chance and texted her.

This started an avalanche of text messages back and forth for the next few days. We finally decided it was time to meet. Since my car was broken down, she drove over 60 miles in an old heap she borrowed from a friend just to see me. I was quite flattered by that.We lingered over coffee for quite a while, and that extended into supper as well. I was a bit surprised when she suggested that I come to her house for the night, but I accepted willingly. As we drove to her house, we snuggled and then started to stroke each other. I had to back off because she started to really get into it at one point and almost went off the road. We got back to her place and started listening to some music while snuggling on the couch.

All of a sudden she she got a few text messages which she answered. On top of this, her phone started to ring non-stop, and she seemed compelled to answer it rather than just turn it off for a while. Needless to say, I was not impressed with this side of her. Not only that, but when she was not talking on her cell phone or texting someone, she was telling me about her ex-boyfriend. Like I was really interested in him. So I made polite noises at the right times while I sat there totally bored by this new twist. I must have done all the right things because we ended up snuggling some more and then headed for bed. The sex was quick and wild, but did not last too long because she said she was tired as soon as she came a couple of times. I barely managed to go off. As we were going to sleep she got up and went into her roommate's bedroom to spend the rest of the night. After waiting about 20 minutes for her to come back, I got the idea that she was out for the count and just went to sleep.

I woke up alone and wondering what I was going to do. I decided to get the hell out of dodge as fast as I could. When I opened the bedroom door, her girlfriend was standing there looking at me as if I was some undesirable bug. Something about the roommate just seemed off. It was one of those instant insights that you get about people sometimes. I cannot put a finger on it. I could only describe it as “off”. Just to be perverse, I decided to have a shower before I left. The water in this backward hell hole probably was not fit to let an animal drink let alone a human because it smelled like boiled eggs. By this time I was really pissed off.

I got dressed and went back to the room I had slept in and waited for her to  explain what the heck was going on. Most importantly, I needed to find out when I could escape from this crazy place. When she finally showed up, she told me that she was in crap up to her eyeballs because she had taken the car yesterday without permission. Apparently her friend's mother was very peeved that she had taken the car the previous day, and that we had to leave now.

When I looked in her eyes, I new that she was on something. Her friend was as well from the look of her. A weird looking guy came over to take us to her (my date's) mother's house. The house turned out to be quite isolated. The living room was full of creepy looking people. Most of them were pretty drugged out. There was a strange odor in the air which I assumed came from a batch of something cooking out back someplace. They were just hanging around in a stupor listening to loud blaring music. It was wild. It was sort of like one of those bad nightmare scenarios that you see in some B grade Hollywood movies. I started to get a bit scared.

A couple of them actually got into an animated discussion as to which train I had to take to get home. My date and her mother left me standing there for a few minutes, and when they returned, we left. We dropped my date and her mother off someplace else, and then we were on our way again.
This guy really freaked me out. He was all in black, had his hair spiked and some of his teeth filed. If his objective was to look like a werewolf, then he was successful. Just needed a bit more hair. Maybe a beard would have helped. He kept grinning at me once in a while and I was starting to get concerned. His constant grinning was getting to me. The longer I was with him the more I was certain that I would crap my pants. I just clamped my butt cheeks together as hard as I could and hoped I would not be in the car too much longer. I was worried he was going to drive me all the way home, but to my relief he drove me just as far as the train station and told me to get out. I happily obliged.

As it turned out, with all the delays at the house, we missed the train I was supposed to catch. I had to wait three more hours for the next one. On top of that, I did not have enough money to get all the way back. So I just sat back and stewed. I ended up detaining about an hour from home. With no money, I had no alternative but to walk and thumb the rest of the way home. It had turned into a damp cold, drizzly day, and by the time I got home I was pretty demoralized. The first thing I did was to take a hot shower to wash the stink off and warm up.

Plenty Of Fish! Plenty of freaks is more like it as far as I am concerned. I have used a couple of other dating sites since, but they are all paying sites now. I have learned that some times free is not always the best way to go. And some sites are not always safe because any moron, freak and weirdo can also join, just because it is free.
Not all free dating sites are crappy. I concede that my experience with POF might have been outside the norm. Either way, I decided to cancel my account on POF and go elsewhere.

In my search for something other than POF I came upon a link that took me to some great dating sites, you might want to give it a try if your fed up with sites like the one I was using. There are risks when joining any free site so be aware, be safe and have fun. The link below is one that I have used successfully. I trust it will be a valuable resource for you as well.

Dating Sites