Better Sex Anywhere On a Budget

Having a new sex partner means that you get to explore their kinky side. The new sales support person may like dress up sex. You know, nurse naughty, french maid, Marion the librarian, etc. The cute, shy guy who started last week may turn out to be an exhibitionist who loves having sex in public parks or in the stationary room. You just never know.

Some day when you have had a few drinks, suggest that you tour a sex shop to see what kinds of weird things that they have. Get the clerks to explain everything. Usually this is a lot of fun, and even if you do not purchase anything, you can laugh about it for weeks.

With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).

In an effort to help you stretch your shrinking sex toy dollar, I have compiled a list of low cost alternatives. Make sure that you check these out with a health expert. Allergies, or other problems can turn the most fun activity into a nightmare!


Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)

If you are not getting enough through regular means, then try this. Set your phone on vibrate, and place it down the front of your drawers or panties. Now it is a simple matter to call your phone from another device. Hey, finally your will be able to enjoy telemarketers calling you all the time. If you turn off your voice mail, it will ring you into an orgasm! Sort of a dingle tingle. If you have two cell phones you can call yourself during meetings at work, thus keeping a pleasant smile on your face while others are nodding off. Who knows, you may even get a promotion for being so "attentive" and "upbeat".


Vigorous Veggie Vamping

Skip the expensive sex shop and browse the aisles of your local grocery store for a suitable alternative. Once you have it home, wash it well in warm water and slide a condom on it. Add an appropriate amount of lube, and see if it has the size you like. The best options are:
1) Cucumber – recommended for average sized vaginas – take the nubs off first though
2) Carrot – ideal for smaller ladies with tight pussies
3) Zucchini – the best choice for larger sized women.
4) Baking Potato – be careful you do not lose it up there – the zucchini is likely more practical
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – Holy Cow! You have to be kidding me! Right?

So if you want, you can use the veggie of choice as a way to size a dildo purchase at a sex store. Either that, or else you can just keep on the veggie sex regime. The best deal about veggie sex is that you can size the amount of your pleasure stick without resorting to a lot of expense. A few bucks can buy you three different size veggie prototypes to try, so if you ever go to the sex shop for a more permanent type toy, you know exactly the size to purchase.

Now you may get some interesting ideas as you browse by the deli department. Anything in the deli is just not recommended, no matter how natural it may look or feel.


Unique Ways To Stimulate an Orgasm in a Woman

It is a published fact that many women can only achieve an orgasm by having their clitoris stimulated during sex. It is one reason why one of the hottest selling items in a sex shop are penis rings (cock rings) with built in vibrators. But if you think about it, there are a lot more things in your daily life that vibrate, and you can use that to your advantage. Have you ever had sex on your washing machine? If not, you are in for a treat. Put the machine on spin cycle, and go to it. For an extra kick, do something to unbalance the machine (like throwing in a floor mat all by itself). You will never look at laundry chores in the same negative light again!.

For other fun, Have her hold her phone next to her clit and give her a bunch of hot, dirty crank calls, and set to “vibrate”. This really pumps up the sexual satisfaction, and with most phone plans is dirt cheap to implement. You have to keep the phone dry, so use a condom.

For those of you in California, when the next earthquake hits, get horizontal in a hurry and take advantage of the mega vibrations. You may miss the main one, but the aftershocks should not leave you unprepared. And what a shock the aftershock would have for your partner. Add some zest on your next train ride with some sexcapades. Most trains have some interesting vibrations, rocking and rolling when in motion. When all else fails, pull out the trusty cell phone again Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Airplanes are at their best in rough weather, but the spoil sports in the cockpits always turn on the seat belt signs. Of course, a blanket or two can give you enough privacy for a quickie.  Then of course, sex in the bed of a pickup truck while going over a washboard road is just about the best. This takes at least one helper, or another couple so you can take turns in the bed of the truck. Of course when going for it in the truck bed, some sort of padding is a necessity. Use and air mattress or at least a couple of yoga pads. Now go have some fun out there!

Ya Hoo!!

If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links: 
Sex Advice for Men


Sex Advice for Women

The One Night Stand

I had emailed a girl on POF but did not get a reply. That happens a lot and I sort of flushed it from my memory.  So I was a bit surprised a couple of weeks later to get a reply, and even more surprised when the reply contained her phone number. It struck me as strange that someone who didn't know me that well and had never spoke to me in person would all of a sudden ,just out of the blue, leave me her phone number. Likely I should have run like a chicken, but since I had not been with anyone steady in a long time, I decided to take a chance and texted her.

We communicated back and forth by text for a couple of days before we agreed to meet for coffee. She had to drive about sixty miles to see me, so I was kinda flattered about that.We lingered over coffee for quite a while, and that extended into supper as well. I edged the conversation around to see if she would be interested in spending the night. Much to my surprise, she accepted but said it would have to be at her house because she had to return the car soon. On the drive back we began to kiss, and it seemed to be going great. Once we arrived at her house, we quickly settled onto her couch, listening to music and resumed our mutual stimulation. It was really a rush.

Suddenly, she started getting text messages by the dozens and she started to focus on replying to them. Then her phone started to ring as well, and she kept answering it. I really thought it was quite rude for her to be spending more time on the phone than with me. To add insult to injury, when she was not focused on the phone, she started to tell me all about her ex boyfriend and her trials with him! Like I cared! I just sat there pretending to really give a shit, making noises to her like, “uh huh....yea....oh.... that’s too bad”, figuring she probably still had a thing for him. But hey, I must have done something right because we eventually had sex so it was worth listening to her shit. We were hardly done before she jumped out of bed and scurried down the hall to her friend's room. She never returned. I waited up for a bit to see if she would come back, but I gave up about a half hour later and decided to just sack out.

When I woke up, I decided that this was all too weird for me and decided to get out of here as soon as possible. As I opened the bedroom door, I saw her roommate standing there looking at me as if I was something squirmy. Her roommate triggered all my psycho chick alarms. I have no idea why. Then it struck me. She was looking at me as if I was competition. These two ladies had a thing for each other but it seemed that the one who picked me up was bisexual. Just to be perverse, I decided to have a shower before I left. The water in this backward hell hole probably was not fit to let an animal drink let alone a human because it smelled like boiled eggs. By this time I was really pissed off.

I got dressed and went back to the room I had slept in and waited for her to  explain what the heck was going on. Mostly, I just wanted to know how I was going to get home. When she came it she told me she was in a spot because she had borrowed the car from her friend's mother without permission. Her roommate's mom had flipped her lid and kicked her out over the episode. She had to leave in an hour.

I noticed she looked like she was on something and her roommate looked all strung out as well. This freaky looking fellow came over to take us to her own mother's home. The house was set back about a half mile from the road. When we got there, there was a bunch of sorry looking people hanging around. They all looked like they were on something pretty powerful, and from the strange smell around, I guessed that they were actually cooking up a batch of something out back someplace. This entire group was all just hanging around listening to some of the worst music I have ever heard. And of course they had to have the volume up full to boot. It was sort of like one of those bad nightmare scenarios that you see in some B grade Hollywood movies. I started to get a bit scared.

One if these guys stirred himself enough to tell me which train I needed to take home. My date and her mother left me standing there for a few minutes, and when they returned, we left. I guess the plan was to drop off my date and her mother someplace and then have me ferried to the train station, because that is what ended up happening.
I finally realized what it was about this guy that rubbed me the wrong way. He had his teeth filed of all things! All of his front teeth were pointed. About the only thing that he needed to look more like Count Dracula was the cape. Of course he also needed a good Bela Lugosi accent. Either way, I was weirded out. His constant grinning was getting to me. The longer I was with him the more I was certain that I would crap my pants. I had to clinch my cheeks together as tight as I could and hoped I would get home in one piece. I hoped he had not decided to drive me all the way home, but suddenly we arrived at the train station. I wasted no time getting out of that car.

As it turned out, with all the delays at the house, we missed the train I was supposed to catch. I had to wait three more hours for the next one. On top of that, I did not have enough money to get all the way back. So I just sat back and stewed. I had to get off about an hour away from my destination and hitchhike the rest of the way. It had started to rain, and it was getting colder. I was pretty wet and miserable by the time I got to my apartment. I tell you, it had never looked so cozy. The first thing I did was take a nice hot shower in 'clean' water.

Plenty of Fish might better be called Plenty Of Freaks from my perspective. I have used a couple of other dating sites since, but they are all paying sites now. There are times when you get what you pay for, and totally free dating sites are the epitome of that expression. There is nothing much that filters out the riffraff on free sites.
Not all free sites are bad. In fact, POF may actually be okay for most people. I may have had a worse experience than most. But in the final analysis, they have a harder time filtering out idiots because they tend to get more of them.

Once I had made the decision to leave POF, I had another issue to solve. How would I find a replacement site that was actually better. After a lot of searching, I finally found a site that rated a bunch of dating sites. It has been successful for me, so I am passing that on to you. There are risks in joining any dating site, but especially so for free sites. So be safe. The link below is one that I have used successfully. I trust it will be a valuable resource for you as well.

Top 10 Dating Sites