Thursday, May 31, 2012

How My Big Date Went To Shambles



I was having a lot of trouble getting a date. I mean, even my family tried to set me up with some girls they knew but nothing really came out of it, not even a second date. “Hey” I'm not a bad looking guy and I have a decent job so whats the problem? It appears that I had one bad night and now I'm branded for life in my normal circle of acquaintances.

So here is my sad tale of woe, and hopefully you will learn something from it.

It began simply enough when some friends cajoled me into going to a formal dance with them. They told me to wear dress pants and a jacket. The pants were not an issue as I had a couple of suitable pairs. The jacket I had to go out and buy, so off I went. I didn't regularly do much shopping and had no idea what I was looking for until a sales clerk came up to me and asked if he could help. I explained I needed a jacket to go with my black dress pants. He indicated that they had some really great, inexpensive jackets that they had imported from Mexico recently. I immediately liked the color. I thought that the yellow shade would make me stand out and I was trying to make a positive impression. The material seemed a bit rough, but the price was great so I bought one and proudly carried it home with me.

That night I showered, shaved and combed my hair just right then put on my clothes. My father was passing by my room and I asked him how I looked. He responded “Nice Benny son”. “What the hell is a Benny?”, I thought to myself. I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Here was someone who was an up and comer with I thought. Unfortunately, I did not notice a pesky loose thread on the back of my jacket near the shoulder seam.

When I got to the dance to meet my buddies, I saw that it was well attended. It seemed that everyone that I knew was there, and a bunch more on top of that. The place was really hopping! My buddies had set this date up with me and she was a bit late. That did not bother me too much because it gave me a chance to hang with my friends and relax a bit. When she got there, and after we were introduced, she wanted to head out on the dance floor immediately. I was pleased that she was a nice looking girl, and the evening was certainly getting off to a positive start. All of a sudden she informs me that there is a lose thread on the shoulder of my jacket. I told her to forget about it but it seems she just couldn't keep her fingers off the stupid thing. She decided to do me a favor and pull it off. Unfortunately when she pulled it all hell broke loose.

As we started the next dance, she started tugging on the thread. Instead of breaking off however, it just kept unraveling. Eventually it reached the floor. They were playing “All Shook Up” by Elvis Presley. It was a new rendition of it and I hardly recognized it as the tune that my dad used to play occasionally. As the thread fell on the floor, it began to get tangled around several ankles. The faster they danced the more entangled they became. Someone tripped and fell into a table, spilling everything on it all over the place. Other people tripped and the disaster increased. By the time the dust settled, six people were on the floor and six tables full of drinks were overturned. What a mess! My buddies hightailed it out the exit laughing their guts out. My date just walked off in a huff!  I was all on my own.

The owner of the club started to scream at me. He was truly pissed! As I stood there alone wishing I could just crawl under the table and hide, people began to snicker and curse me. The owner quick marched me out of his establishment, and threw the wad of yellow string at me as I exited. The only part of my yellow jacket that I was still wearing as I exited into the night was one sleeve. As I headed home, my evening ruined, I took what was left of my new jacket and threw it in a trash can along the way.

So that is my tale of woe! No sane woman who knew me, or knew of me, would date me. My reputation and $500.00 could not even buy me a hooker!!

It was my sister who eventually pointed me in the right direction. She was sick of me moping around by then. She said that there was no way that anyone in the neighborhood would ever date me again (as if I did not know that). She said I would have to either move away, or else try to connect with someone on an online dating site. Moving was out, I just could not afford it. A dating site seemed like a good idea, so I decided to give it a try. I picked one at random, but had no luck. So I googled dating, and was overwhelmed at the number of sites. Which one would be the best for me. I tried the top site POF.com – stands for plenty of fish, but I did not have much luck on it.  My sister came to my rescue again and suggested the link that I will share below. It has a big list of quality dating sites to choose from. I signed up to a couple of sites, and finally met someone who can take me for who I am, and not the idiot who bought a cheap jacket once.

So if you find yourself in a dating bind like I was, then check out the link below. I am sure it will work for you the same way that it worked for me.

Top Dating Sites

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Anatomy of a First Date




First dates are your best opportunity to dazzle someone. But it is also the most likely point where you will turn them off forever. So much is on the line that there would likely be a solid business model out there for someone to coach you for a first date. Just like in the movie "Hitch". It is important that you are genuine with them as to who you are. Do not put on a big act about being prince charming if you would never normally think of opening a door for someone. On the other hand, do not go out of your way to be a slob either, even if that is how you tend to be in private. With this in mind, here are a few tips that I have compiled, based on my dating record that might help you.

1. Reset Your Libido

This concept was first introduced to the mass public in the movie "There's Something About Mary" – starring Ben Stiller , Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon Just before, or during your pre-date shower, give yourself a hand job. With a flaccid member, you are more likely to be your usual intelligent self, rather than constantly trying to shift the conversation over to discussions of getting her in bed. Going in fully cocked, you will focus too much on her physical attributes and that is a turn off for 90% of women. You’ll try to listen to her, but all you’ll be able to think about is where you’d like to stick your tongue. Discharging the rounds from the chamber will also give you more control if indeed sex is the climax – pun intended – of the evening. If you last long enough for her to orgasm one or two times, she will likely be receptive to a return engagement.


2. Get Her Name Right

I called a girl by the wrong name on a first date once, she walked out on me. To make sure you don’t make this blunder, write her name on your cell phone and check it throughout the night to remind yourself.


3. Swallow Before Speaking

Taking small bites allows you to be able to participate in your side of a conversation more quickly. Also, have the courteously to try to pace our your side of the conversation so you end just at the point she is swallowing. It allows for a good pace, and no awkward silences. I was on a first date once, and started to talk with my mouth still half full. We both watched as a piece of my dinner flew out of my mouth and landed on her plate. Awkward. Needless to say it was our last date!


4. If You Bring Her To Your Place, Hide The Porn

She does not want to know that you are into granny porn! At least not yet. Make a habit of tidying up your apartment before every date, just in case. And that means hiding the porn as well. Do not forget to empty your DVD player. Firing it up to watch Must Love Dogs only to have your DVD player auto-load– Debbie Does Dead Dogs – would really suck.


5. Minimize Your Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol can be a great social lubricant. However, it can also make you look like a total jackass. Whatever you think you can normally drink and still be respectable, cut that total in half. Start your dinner by ordering a large bottle of water with your initial drink order. Towards the end of the meal, switch off to coffee or some form of tea, rather than order an expensive desert wine. Making mistakes and drinking too much is a common mistake. One I have made myself. But the results speak for themselves. Only one time did my drinking excessively not get in the way of subsequent dates, and that was when my date turned out to be a complete lush. It was fun at first, but I broke it off after a few months.


6. Don’t Talk About Your Ex

On on evening when I got too drunk and messy, I also made another first date mistake. I talked too much about my ex. Talking about your failed relationships is just stupid. If pressed, do not lay blame. Say that the relationship was not working out because, as the relationship progressed, you both had discovered that you both had significantly different incompatible interests. Learn to talk about women's shoes. It is a topic that allows for some humor. You must keep her entertained, otherwise, your chances for a second date will disappear.


With any luck, you can pick up on a few of the insights that I have gained over the years to make you a master of first dates.


For more insights, try this link:

Dating Advice for Men