A lot of people seem to think that gay men are shallow when it comes to finding someone they would like to have a long term relationship with. But is that really true? Of course many of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; heck you can say the same thing about heterosexuals as well. In fact sometimes it is hard for people that do not fit that type to find a partner. It is more of a challenge for gay men because they are in a minority. Even the gay community has its share of shallow types. My idea is that if they do not like me then they can kiss my not so flabby tush.
As you get older you find that most guys are not as interested in how you look as opposed to your intelligence and brains. But until that day comes you might just have to take what you can get, or try going to the gym once in awhile. Appearance is definitely a big factor, but it is not the only thing in the game of love between young gay men. Not many guys want to date someone that is chubby. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even have any idea's about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them. If that makes me shallow, so be it, but I know what I want.
Why are so many young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for a lot of young guys are only looking for sex and not any form of long term commitment. Of course attractiveness standards vary with different cultures and races, I have a few over weight friends that have no trouble getting dates and having serious relationships. There are many reasons why some people will focus on physical attributes over all others. Every group has people who are shallow when it comes to picking a mate its just who they are.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who don't measure up to my standards as far a dating goes, most of them are nice people but I just would not consider dating them. I have some wonderful friends that I cherish for the friends that they are, and I met most of them online. I love meeting people online because it tends to push my extended network of friends so much farther than I could ever do within my existing network of pals. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. One of the main reasons why I hang out on dating sites is because there is a certain kindred spirit thing going on because all of us are still looking.
I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. For me, online dating is a useful tool that helps me find new tools (LOL). If you start dating and the person seems to be rushing it and making you uncomfortable, it is easy to move on. And if by chance they start to hassle you online, well all you have to do is block them, with online dating sites your real email address phone number and address are never given out so there's no worry about someone harassing you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already. The best thing though is that most of the men on dating sites are just like you, and are unlikely to push themselves on someone where the affection is not being returned.
For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They just want to find someone compatible. They want someone with the same interests, personality traits. Someone who is compassionate, caring and giving. Someone who's company they can enjoy. Someone looking for a more of a commitment than just a one night stand.
So if you want to expand your horizons, consider joining an online dating site. There are many, many really solid sites out there that are totally committed to helping you find someone special in your life. They have a variety of members from many cultures all looking for someone to share their experiences and lives with. So why wait? Get off your butt, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. At worst you will meet a lot of interesting people that you will come to regard as friends, even if they never make it to lovers. The link below is to a site that I found helpful when I was first starting out in the internet dating arena.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php
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